yesterday was such a lovely day

day starts off funny when recharge phone; went flat last night when making plans with x and i didn't have a charger with me and i didn't have his number other than locked in that little machine and there are messages and x has called and recalled and left increasingly angry messages and i send a message promising to make it up today and have a coffee meeting and have two coffees so that makes it three today and a bit strung out i walk in the heat from east tce to bus info to find bus to new base in walkerville feeling tense at this stage but am ok and am on way head down to bus stop and wait for 20 mins and begin to sweat hot now and get tired of waiting quickly but give up on sense of rush and just wait it out and bus comes cool inside catch every single red light on way am amazed is this a record has it happened before i mean to catch each and every single red light and where is my cool am getting annoyed and get off finally at my stop now the bus lurches and i stumble as i try to flee no grace and into shop so thirsty get a juice and an avocado will make salad for lunch head off down the street quick open that drink so thirsty damn made the wrong choice why orange and apricot should have got iced tea this is just making me thirstier sun beats down but is ok am nearly there key in letter box i'll go inside and maybe have a nap this afternoon and wake up and will all be good and the key is there and it is not the key for the door and i call m and there is no answer and i message and there is no answer and i try key in all ways and it is not the key for the door and i try the back and it is not the key for the door and i call and i message and i pull off window screens and i can't push open the windows they're locked tight and the key doesn't work there either so i sit out the back on the verandah and the only shade is under the plastic verandah roofing which collects heat and intensifies it feels like i'm under a magnifying glass what god is messing with me and punishing me in this way and i call another 10 times and there's no answer and i doze and get hot and at least there's a tap i'm thirsty but i'd better not drink too much because hey where's the toilet it's inside and i get hungry and eat an avocado hm not so nice wihtout any other salad elements and it's now 2 hours and i'm hot and i don't want to go back and hang out in town and finally phone rings and m says give me another 3 hours and i'm over it now it can't get worse and so ok maybe i[ll buy a paper and read it and time will pass and then the phone goes flat and where's the charger it's inside and so if x calls it'll be straight to the message again and i'm thirsty may as well abandon all hope let's get some crisps and another drink and look i found a public library on the way and two and a half hours to wait before a new key comes a key for the door oh can't today be over already

(locked out)