i hate having time to kill. (unless i've had a nap and woken up and it's not time to get up yet - it's one of the delicious things in life to simply lie there and think.)
If it's 8pm and you're going out in two or three hours...ugh. it's just the right amount of time for you to get settled and comfortable and content with being at home - and that's the point at which the doorbell rings and it's your ride and you can't pretend you're not there they can see the lights and it's too late anyway because you've already agreed and they're going out of their way to give you a ride so you're in their debt and this is only the beginning now you've got to be out and social and really you've left your mind inside at home and so whatever you do it will probably be half-hearted and with the awareness that if only you were back home ... but you're not you're out and so even if the mind isn't here you've got to focus on being animated and here's the crowd and everyone's buzzing and where's your smile ah there is it and it's cool drinks are on their way and you're out and oh that's right you're not a nana afterall and this is saturday night...
but it does give me time to post a little. things like this:
from andrew wylie (he's a big literary agent, who represents - or used to - salman rushdie/martin amis/that type of crowd)(when asked, would you like to be a writer?)
'God! No! What a life! The last thing! No! No! To go off in a room with
yourself, the size of your ass after a few years, the whole thing - what a
nightmare! Christ! You look like shit! Your eyesight goes, you're fat, you're
anxious, you're worn out, you're depressed. God forbid! I would rather be a
chicken farmer than a writer!'
if only more creative writing students read this type of stuff! (sorry - this is a pet hate: 'creative' writers; who are they? no one, nobody. what writers worth reading describe themselves as 'creative'? only people who are paying to be taught how use the term 'creative'. hisssss)